ניהול קונפליקטים

במה עסוקים רוב האנשים רוב היום?, ללא הבדל דת, גזע, מין, גיל ודת? אף שזה נשמע אולי מפתיע, אך הם עסוקים בניהול קונפליקטים. לאו דווקא מדובר באנשים סכסכניים שמחפשים סיבה לריב עם כל הסביבה. לא, גם אנשים חייכניים, שקטים וסגורים שמבלים את רוב זמנם מול מסך מחשב, נמצאים בסיטואציה תמידית של ניהול קונפליקטים ואצלם המצב דווקא בעייתי בהרבה.

כי כשמדובר בקונפליקט חיצוני, ברור, מובהק ובולט לעין, אין שום בעיה לזהות אותו לקבוע דרך כלשהי לניהולו: להתנצל או להעליב, לתקוף או לברוח ולהתגונן… במקרה של קונפליקט חיצוני יש הרבה דרכים טובות יותר וטובות פחות לנהל את המהלכים, אך מה קורה כשמדובר בעצם בקונפליקט פנימי?

ואלה הם הקונפליקטים המוסתרים שמלווים את כל חיינו. הקונפליקטים כוללים ניגודי אינטרסים קטנים: להחליט האם לעבוד או לשתות קפה? ועד לקונפליקטים קשים, עמוקים ולרוב מוסתרים כלל מהעין: ללכת אחרי החלום שלנו או לרצות את הסביבה? לבחור בדרך בטוחה אך מתסכלת או לקחת סיכון ולנסות להצליח? לדרוש את מה שמגיע לנו או לא להסתכן במריבה?

קונפליקטים פנימיים וחיצוניים שאינם נפתרים פעמים רבות גורמים לשחיקה עצמית, לחולשה ולירידה בביטחון העצמי שלנו ובעיקר לריב ולכעסים על אחרים ועל עצמנו. כל זאת גורם לנו להיות פעמים רבות בלתי מאוזנים ולא במיטבנו. ברוב המקרים הקונפליקטים הפנימיים הופכים להיות חיצוניים וכתוצאה מכך  אנו מנהלים סכסוכים עם הסביבה החיצונית שלנו: אנחנו רגזנים, מתוסכלים ומעוצבנים. קונפליקטים רבים לא תמיד מגיעים לאזור המודעות, אך הם אלה שבמקרים רבים קובעים את חיינו ואת דרכינו. היכולת לזהות את הקונפליקטים האלה, לזהות את הצדדים הפועלים, את השאלות האמתיות שסביבן  קיים הוויכוח, לגשר בין הפערים ולמצוא פתרונות הם הסודות של האושר ההצלחה והשקט הנפשי.

התסכולים שלנו, התחושות הרווחת בקרב אנשים רבים כגון: “רע לי ” אני סובל” ,”לא יודע מה להחליט” “לא מרוצה” ואני לא מבין מה הסיבה לכך– כל אלה הם רק נורות אדומות שמסמנות קיום של קונפליקטים פנימיים רבים שלא מוצאים את פתרונם. לפעמים הקונפליקטים האלה באים לידי ביטוי בצורת סכסוכים ומריבות עם הסביבה, לפעמים הם באים לידי ביטוי “רק” בצורה של מצבי רוח, תסכול, חשש והתלבטות, לפעמים האדם מצליח להכחיש את קיומם עד רגע מסוים.

הדרך היחידה להתמודד עם הקונפליקטים האלה היא ללמוד להבין אותם ולנהל אותם בצורה מודעת.  מזמינה אותך לעבוד איתי למפות ולנהל את הקונפליקטים שלך.

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